A Firm Foundation

Today's scripture reading is from Ephesians 2.  In verses 19-22 we hear about the building of Christ's church.

"So then you are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the holy ones and members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the capstone.  Through him the whole structure is held together and grows into a temple sacred in the Lord, in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit." 

(Eph 2:19-22 NAB)

Verse 20 had a special ring and made total sense in relation to Catholicism and it's enduring strength over the centuries since Christ's death and resurrection.  The sacred tradition of the Church adheres to this very passage.  We have continued to stand strong on our firmly placed foundation of Christ as the cornerstone and the remaining foundation of the early church of the apostles.  It is in this that the Spirit has continued to live and guide Christ's people. Despite all the events over time that have threatened our faith, we remain standing 2000 years later.
I know that it truly will take an act of God to unite peoples of faith but I gained a little insight from Joyce Meyer the other night.  She may not even realize that she summed up the root of division in the Christian faith and it boils down to this, "we have an authority problem".  In our modern society, it is deemed a great threat to our individuality and self expression to submit to someone's authoritative voice.  In the Christian realm, protestants have suffered greatly from this refusal to see the pope as an authoritative figure.  Having left this out of their doctrine, they have welcomed a vast array of conflicting theological interpretations and cannot even find reconciliation in the foundation of the church because they have abandoned sacred tradition in exchange for free thought.

Firm in Faith

In light of a recent article I read, regarding the Dutch Roman Catholic Church, I decided to make a few comments in response.  The article was in regards to castration of boys who were homosexual back in the 1950's.  This is a horrific story of faith practice gone wrong.

Why stay Catholic in a time when there seems to be so many strikes against the Catholic Church?  As a Catholic, I understand the priest is not immune to sin.  In situations where this occurs we are to pray for them that they may see the error in their ways while also seeking justice.  Good thing we worship God and pray for His people, lay and ordained.  We pray with the followers for the community as a whole.  My favorite quote is "the church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints."

There are many scars on the body of Christ.  We do not deny that they exist but in our humanness, we often try to paint over the ugliness, putting on a facade, a happy face, hoping that the scar will not show and ultimately defame the good that comes from faith.  Unfortunately, the paint starts to crack and the old crud underneath is revealed and we are forced to face the ugliness again.

I choose to stand through the trials, I choose to stay the course.  There are trials and treachery in all of life.  We will encounter great betrayal from friends, family and yes, even our church.  The Lord knows that the ship he's steering will not always be a shiny prism of light as where there is great goodness, there can also be grave tragedy.  Just as the day turns to night.

So as a mathematician sees the truth in the equation, I see the truth in the Church and the teachings.  So as a crooked businessman may use his truth in numbers to swindle his clients out of money or to cover up a mistake of a collegue, so may a priest or other religious use true biblical teachings for personal gain or for reason to inflict harm on another person.  The action of a person does not disprove the truth at the root of it all.

We all have equal responsibility to take the truth and use it for good but some choose to breach their responsibility and for that they are wrong, no doubt. I feel terrible for the victims of this exercise that took place in the name of right teaching.  However, it doesn't make me want to renounce my faith in Christ's church, it makes me want to understand my faith more in that I may help lead others in the right direction and help guide those who may be misguided.

From Head to Heart

Every time I go to mass I am so inspired by the people receiving the Eucharist.  I am so inspired also when there is a person who walks up the aisle, unable to receive, but goes up anyway just for the blessing from the priest or eucharistic minister.  I always pray for the parishioners that their hearts may be moved by the Spirit and that they may feel that desire to form a relationship with our Lord.  

I seem to forget to include myself in that picture.  As much as I think I have a personal relationship with the Lord, it seems I just have a hard time feeling it.  I desire it, I seek it, I long for that closeness.  I am waiting for that 'aha' moment where I feel the Lord's presence.  When speaking with my evangelical friends, they rave so much about this personal relationship with Jesus.  Jesus is their friend.  

Jesus is my friend too.  I just haven't yet connected in my heart, the truth that I know in that we have such a personal encounter with Christ in the Eucharist that I should never doubt my closeness.  

So as I observed this again tonight at the mass for Ash Wednesday I decided to add myself to the prayers for the people and the desire to seek full relationship with the Lord.  I figured out recently that it is not enough for me to just pray for more convicted Catholics but I have to be included in the prayer too.  

We are the light in darkness.  We need to let that light shine.  It will not happen by knowing more than anyone else in matters of theology or the ability to win an argument.  It comes from letting down the walls of your heart.  Walls are built out of insecurities and those walls prevent us from becoming full of Christ and his love for us.  God doesn't want us to hide from our fears but rather confront them.  

Ask the questions.  Share your doubts and fears with Him.  He knows that we are brave and courageous if we cling to him for strength.  We need bravery and courage to be the light in this world.  As we begin another lenten season, I'm praying for the light in me to shine and that I will let it.  I'm praying for the courage and bravery to be the best me I can be in following the will that God has for me.  I'm praying that the inspiration I receive at mass will bring me to a place of action in that my convictions will get out of my head and into my heart and be light to those around me.

So Loved

I couldn't stop the tears from coming.  

forcing their way through the labyrinth in my heart, 

surging through, 

up and over every wall, 

exiting the portal of my soul. 

The eyes don't lie. 

It was unstoppable.  

Freedom and life is what followed 

after the walls opened and released the 

fear...

hatred... 

worry... 

anger... 

condemnation... 

that I had put on myself.  

I AM LOVED!  

Always!  

By our everlasting God.  

Like music to my ears, 

the music rumbled through my veins.

For all the children and adults who don't know their fathers or have little or no contact with their dads.  i am a firm believer that you always have the desire to love and be loved by your father.  Regardless of how little you know about him.  

Let it be known that you are loved.  You have a father.  An almighty God, everlasting, eternal, merciful, loving, forgiving father.  He is your creator.  He is the potter, we are the clay.  We are His masterpiece.  Every hair on our bodies, He loves.  He will never turn his back on you.  For when you call His name he is yours.  

When I finally realized this at 33 years of age.  I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the feeling of belonging to someone.  For the first time in my life I felt wanted.  Not in the romantic or sexual way.  Like a father loves his daughter.  My existence was validated.  I was loved by the Father.  However absent my own biological father had been throughout my life, the sorrow and emptiness was lifted at that moment when I realized that I had a father all along.  This father loved me with his whole heart, despite all my short-comings.  And all he asks is that I love him in return.  

I was reading my parish magazine and noticed a quote from a teenage girl who had discovered this very same truth while on a Steubenville youth retreat.  I was elated that she was given this beautiful gift and the grace to receive it at such a young age.  What a blessing it might have been to have had this revelation earlier in my life.  i've become comfortable with the fact that God's timing is not my time.  He knows what he's doing so I trust that he revealed this gift to me when I was ready to receive it.

We are made for more.  The troubles of this life, the pain, the suffering, the feelings of neglect will never surpass the joy and love the Father has for his children.  We are the apple of his eye:)

Left Wanting

"so paralyzed by indecision-zapping my motivation, can't get off the couch or my fingers off the computer.  Media, stealing all my life and I'm letting it.  Encouraging it.  Why do I seek answers in the internet?  Why do I expect a plan that is clearly laid out for me before taking action?"

These are words from my free-writing in a moment of dark emotion and frustration.  So I got to thinking… this indecision is caused by fear.  Fear of failure, fear of discomfort, fear of disapproval, fear of you-name-it.  This fear that paralyzes us, turning us into zombies, is not of God.  This fear takes us away from God and the beauty that he sees in us.  He wants us to be risk-takers.  Risk it all for Him.  What in this life is more valuable than the will of God?  Nothing!  

First and foremost God wills us to love Him.  God wills us to love His people.  God wills us to love ourselves as he loves us and that means getting rid of that negative self-talk that chains us to our chairs and becoming motivated by the love for us from our maker.  

Everything about us He created.  He calls us to be like Him.  We are made in his image.  We only become more like Him when we build on our character and shed the layers of contempt and self-loathing to reveal the beauty that He's created in us.  

This self-loathing is fed by the surrounding environment of the world we live in.  We're not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough or strong enough.  All of these influences throw us into a deep, dark ravine that is filled with the toils of "I can't do this because of …".  You can fill in with any of the factors above or others I've left out.  

We are led to believe and worship the god of perfectionism.  This is worldly perfectionism that is unattainable since we measure against the standards of the society in which we live and not the standards of Gods love.  The measure in society is always changing and is so dependent on personal emotion and external pleasure.  In this technological sound-byte world we are continually seeking that emotional high.  This is not lasting and will forever leave you wanting.  

We need to seek that which is lasting and true.  God's love is enduring and unchanging.  His infinite mercy cannot be outdone.  

Getting Over Denominationalism

copyright Angela Harvotich

God was revealed to us most intimately through his son Jesus Christ.  He continues to be present with us here on earth through the awesome presence of the Holy Spirit and in the real presence of the Eucharist.  Lately, I've been thinking about all the various denominations in Christianity.  I am really beginning to wonder how anyone can think this makes sense.  Being indifferent in matters of faith just doesn't fit scripturally.  

What I cannot make peace with is the fact that many of these churches claim to be led by the Spirit.  How can the Spirit have so many different view points.  It's like a schizophrenic Christ.  This is crazy!  Christ is not a flip-flopper.  He does not change according to the group of believers.  God is Jesus is the Holy Spirit.  The word is given to us and reveals the truth of God and the great love and hope for his people.  He did not say his teachings were open to personal interpretation.  He said he would give his spirit to the church, His holy church and that church would be guided in truth. He said what he meant and meant what he said.  

I'm so glad that I don't rely solely on my own personal interpretation of the meaning of Christianity and the Word.  There's great humility in knowing I don't have all the answers and also great relief in knowing that I don't have to have all the answers.  I mean, Jesus could mean something different to me every other week, since life is ever changing and my outlook can be influenced by many exterior factors.  We can't confine Jesus to our definition and then change it when we see fit.  He is the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega.  That's HUGE!  The Bible is not a piece of literary fiction that we can edit and interpret to fit our liking.  "I am who am".  What else can you say to that?  If we believe that the Bible is truly the inspired word of God, how can you believe that it means whatever we want it to mean?  

When we study literature and philosophy we don't analyze it to see what we think it means to us unless we are simply seeking entertainment.  If we want to know the truth behind the words we study to find out what the source was trying to say to us in the work.  It is a reflection of the author and who he/she is.  There is one true meaning in the word of God.  How we apply the truthful meaning to our lives can be different but the truth is there and it doesn't change with the times.  

This kind of division in our faith doesn't serve us or Christ well.  Division spells weakness.  It's time that we start learning more about each other and discover our common ground and use that as a foundation for coming together.  If we can find our similarities and learn the truths of the faith together that will create a united body of Christ.  Now this is a tall order and requires immense grace from the Father.  His plan is greater than ours and even with work on our part, unity will inevitably come on His time.  A great change requires hearts that are willing to grow and change.  Great on paper, not so simple in practice.  Only with a deep seeking of Christ and truth can we even begin to overcome this division.

A House Full of Boys:)

Tonight I was so very blessed to have a 30-minute conversation with my 12-year-old!  It is very rare that I get that kind of block to sit one-on-one with any of my children.  It turned out to be a nice conversation about school, how he likes some classes better than others and is thinking of joining choir next year.  He even asked me a few questions about myself.  I was delighted to share some of my stories and insights with him.  As we enter the teen years, him being my first-born, I am trying to prepare for more serious issues than this.  I'm thankful that it was so light-hearted.  I worry myself, maybe for good reason, maybe out of fear, because I know boys don't always talk about personal things.  I'm glad that when he came up to chat, I took the time.

Like I said, I was delighted to share some of my own personal experience with my son.  The reason being, I am one woman in a house full of boys.  Often the desires of the lady of the house are overlooked and even ignored at times.  Not intentional of course but purely because they are young boys and are not that interested in long conversations with mom and my artsy interests.  My husband really does good, but he's a man too and surely cannot relate well to things of the female type.  I was raised an only child to a single mother.  All I knew was girl stuff.  I find it quite ironic that I now am surrounded by boys.  Talk about complete opposite ends of the spectrum.  Not to mention, my mother was a hair dresser so I spent much of my life in a beauty salon.  

Going from a quiet girly house to a wild crazy sports filled house is something that I still have to adjust to from time to time.  I just can't believe how much energy boys have.  I swear it's all different too, depending on the stage they're at in development.  They express it in many different ways.  I've found that around the third/fourth grade years it comes out in pointless noise and sounds from the mouth.  As a person who sings, I think there are many pleasant sounds that can come from the mouth but I can't help but be a little annoyed by all the random sounds these boys come up with as they're doing everything around the house.  It could always be worse and so I just try to tune it out.  Again, I'm hard wired for quiet.  I think of it as a growth experience for me in accepting the quirks and silly antics of others.  Growth is always good!  

In a couple weeks we will have the opportunity to find out the sex of our new baby and I have to be honest, I'm hoping for a girl.  I love my boys so much and will still be totally in love with another little boy if that's what we've been given.  While talking to a good friend today and listening to her talk about dance class and dresses, I do believe my desire for a little girl increased.  She would be such a little princess and we need another girl in the house so the boys can see that it's not just mom who talks a lot.