It's a Beautiful Day

Today was a beautiful day.  I woke up to my toddler having pee’d on the floor, not on accident.  I tried my hardest to keep him from sneaking food, from which he was to abstain, while I cleaned the carpet.  My 6-year-old’s on the toilet with a stomach ache, crying for my help…what am I supposed to do?  I smiled and assured him he’d be alright and the ache would be gone soon.  The toddler comes back for round two.  Thankfully, it was on the kitchen floor.  What is he thinking?  He’s not a dog.  He doesn’t need to mark any territory.  He’s made it clear in numerous ways that EVERYWHERE is his territory.  Meanwhile I clean up pee mess #2 like a good mom.  The toddler swipes a single rice chex from his baby brother.  “AHHH!!!  Spit that out child!  No food!”  

Today was a beautiful day.  It’s time to leave.  The young man in charge is our 15-year-old son.  I lay down the law for the kids who’ll be staying home so me and the peeing toddler can drive downtown for his appointment.  He’s fully prepared since his older brothers have been giving him their sage medically accurate description of the procedure for about three weeks now.  It goes kind of like this.  “Tristan, you’re going to get a tube shoved down your throat so you can get rid of your belly ache!…ha, ha, ha!”  To which Tristan calmly responds, “I don’t have a belly ache anymore.  I don’t have a Celiac disease anymore.”  I’d deny my ailment too if the diagnostic test fit that description.  Boys!  

It’s a peaceful ride downtown and I offer to pray for Tristan.  He proceeds to scream at me to stop it.  He doesn’t like my saying the rosary today.  I’m going to believe that it touches his heart.  He always gets crabby about things that touch his heart.  I don’t think he knows what to do with that emotion yet.  I pray quietly to myself for one decade.  We observe a number of trucks and the river as we approach the hospital.  

Children’s Hospital in St. Paul has really made some nice improvements since we’d been there three years ago.  Tristan has been to Children’s once before to have a couple minor surgeries.  Today, we’re confirming his Celiac diagnosis with an upper endoscopy for an intestinal biopsy.  A lot of prep goes into this five minute procedure.  Children’s staff is definitely up to the task.  Starting at the security desk, they check photo ID’s and take a snapshot to create a clear name visitor tag.  Then a welcome center worker escorts you to your proper location.  Patience is a must for this young man since Tristan is a little relaxed in his walking speed.  The nurse in the elevator up to the third floor was so friendly and complimented me on my scapular.  I love the opportunity to share my faith.  The Children’s waiting area in the pre/post-op area was filled with toys, books, push cars and buggies.  I felt completely safe allowing Tristan to make the noise he needed to enjoy himself.  The toys were nice, well kept and clean.  That one rice chex delayed the procedure by an hour!  Luckily, they have movies on demand and we were able to watch the LEGO movie for the hundredth time.  I really can’t complain about uninterrupted snuggle time with my buddy, even if it is at the hospital.  Take it when you can get it, right?  

Great things are happening at Children’s.  They reminded me how important, smart, precious, vulnerable and special children are.  As much as I know this, it can get lost in all the havoc that occurs in our everyday life with all the ages we’re experiencing currently.  Nurse Carol treated Tristan with such dignity and respect as did Nurse Tami and Dr. Sundeep.  They were truly joyful in their dealings with him, talking him through everything, and me too.  At Children’s, they understand the child, the parent, the close relationship between the two and honor that bond completely.  I felt truly cared for there.  They are more than medicine and staff there.  They are servants.  The Children’s medical staff cares for the whole person and raises the dignity of children’s medical care to a whole new level.  Keep up the good work!  Thank you, Children’s, for making my day beautiful!

A House Full of Boys:)

Tonight I was so very blessed to have a 30-minute conversation with my 12-year-old!  It is very rare that I get that kind of block to sit one-on-one with any of my children.  It turned out to be a nice conversation about school, how he likes some classes better than others and is thinking of joining choir next year.  He even asked me a few questions about myself.  I was delighted to share some of my stories and insights with him.  As we enter the teen years, him being my first-born, I am trying to prepare for more serious issues than this.  I'm thankful that it was so light-hearted.  I worry myself, maybe for good reason, maybe out of fear, because I know boys don't always talk about personal things.  I'm glad that when he came up to chat, I took the time.

Like I said, I was delighted to share some of my own personal experience with my son.  The reason being, I am one woman in a house full of boys.  Often the desires of the lady of the house are overlooked and even ignored at times.  Not intentional of course but purely because they are young boys and are not that interested in long conversations with mom and my artsy interests.  My husband really does good, but he's a man too and surely cannot relate well to things of the female type.  I was raised an only child to a single mother.  All I knew was girl stuff.  I find it quite ironic that I now am surrounded by boys.  Talk about complete opposite ends of the spectrum.  Not to mention, my mother was a hair dresser so I spent much of my life in a beauty salon.  

Going from a quiet girly house to a wild crazy sports filled house is something that I still have to adjust to from time to time.  I just can't believe how much energy boys have.  I swear it's all different too, depending on the stage they're at in development.  They express it in many different ways.  I've found that around the third/fourth grade years it comes out in pointless noise and sounds from the mouth.  As a person who sings, I think there are many pleasant sounds that can come from the mouth but I can't help but be a little annoyed by all the random sounds these boys come up with as they're doing everything around the house.  It could always be worse and so I just try to tune it out.  Again, I'm hard wired for quiet.  I think of it as a growth experience for me in accepting the quirks and silly antics of others.  Growth is always good!  

In a couple weeks we will have the opportunity to find out the sex of our new baby and I have to be honest, I'm hoping for a girl.  I love my boys so much and will still be totally in love with another little boy if that's what we've been given.  While talking to a good friend today and listening to her talk about dance class and dresses, I do believe my desire for a little girl increased.  She would be such a little princess and we need another girl in the house so the boys can see that it's not just mom who talks a lot.

On My Fridge

Oh how we can complicate things in life.  There is such simplicity if we just allow it.  How often I contemplate a topic or idea and I just make it so impossible to undertake because I simply over think, over analyze, over plan and by that point I forgot about the simple truth that got the whole ball rolling.  In which case results in a failure to start.

I've learned that it is best to just put one foot in front of the other.  That in itself is a success.  'Just keep going' has been my mantra for quite some time now.  Especially after 12 years in the restaurant business.   Small victories keep us going and help us stay focused.  For someone like me who sees the big picture and wants it all now, this is very difficult, but necessary for any kind of fulfillment.  It takes daily reminding and this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson puts life in perspective for me.  I keep it on my fridge so I don't miss it.

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded! -Emerson

We all seek greatness.  Some seek it on big ways, others in the little ways.  Either way success can be attained.  On Emerson, to win "the affection of children".  Isn't that the truth.  Children are smart and if you have a child who wants to give you a hug or snuggle with you, that's a true blessing.  So often we get busy and these endearments are brushed aside or just taken on-the-run.  With each child, I'm learning to slow down a little and really enjoy the snuggle time when it's available because it ends quick.

I love critics!  I often encounter critics in the arena of faith and family.  I may not feel the love in the heat of a debate but in the end I am so thankful for the opportunity to grow in conviction and also for the opportunity to learn.  The critics I've been graced with seem to be pretty honest and I don't think they hate me.  Appreciate, now that's questionable.

I have three healthy children and a garden patch.  One question.  Do I have to accomplish all of the the things on the list before I'm a success or is it an any/all type of deal?  There I go complicating things again.

Workers in the Vineyard

This morning I was brought to tears while reading about the life of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton.  At an early age of nine, I was inspired by her  profound faith and willingness to live out God's will for her.  In doing so, she was taken on quite of journey of servitude.  She lived to teach others the faith and love of Christ.  She brought people to the faith through Catholic education and eventually started a religious community of teaching sisters.  She managed to accomplish all this while being a widowed mother of five!  This moment of quiet reading provided great affirmation of my vocation of wife, mother, and lay ministry.      

I think about the call to marriage and motherhood.  As I journey through my fourth pregnancy I often get caught up in the idea that I won't be able to do anything that makes a difference for a while, especially in the area of career success.  Often I overlook the meaningful and important duties of being a wife and mother.  Our duties as a homemaker are more important than we know.  Every time we tie a shoe, wash dishes, fold clothes, wipe a face, feed our family, we are caring for one of God's children.  What a high honor.  We are doing the Lord's work even when we feel like our brains are dead and boring.  At this point in my life I am learning to see this more and more.  It's sometimes hard to grasp the beauty of motherhood when there's barely time to comb my hair, at least not until everyone is in bed and by that point it seems more appealing to collapse and forget it until morning.  Who's going to see me anyway?  

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton was a woman who was on fire for her faith.  She wanted people to receive the sanctifying grace of the Lord and to learn the way to eternal salvation.  I am an eternal learner and hope only to share the truth that I attain through my search for answers in a way that encourages thought on God and his plan for us.  I pray that others will seek truth in all things and desire truth in their faith, uncomfortable or not.  Faith isn't meant to be easy.  

This holy woman struggled through great loss of her husband at the early age of 30 and was widowed with five children to care for.  I am willing to bet that this was not the vision she had for her life but she let God take the reigns and she went along to see the greatness that would come out of this less than desirable place she now resided.  She was not an ordained religious but she had great hope for the lay faithful.  As Christians we have such an important role in the nurturing of souls for Christ's Kingdom.  What we do in our daily life for others is God's work in us.  

We need not be teachers in the professional sense but we can be teachers by our lives.  I am a firm believer of leading by example.  Our lives, lived well can be the greatest inspiration for another and we need not do more than simply live the laws of love.  We can all be saints.  The Gospel of love is meant to be shared and lived.  We are His disciples in the holy priesthood.  Be it the mother working in the rearing of her children, listening to a friend in need, feeding the poor, or attending Sunday service.  No role is insignificant if done with great love.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton http://www.ucatholic.com/saints/saint-elizabeth-ann-seton/

Hello my lovelies!  I am not feeling lovely right now.  How is it that we try so hard to be different than our parents and no matter what we do we still wind up doing things we hated?  It's even worse when you then see that same attitude or action showing in your own kids.  Talk about the circle of life.  We can learn so much about ourselves from our children!  It's sad when you realize you're mad at your child for behaving in a way that you behave yourself.  Ugh, frustrating!  Well, it happens to the best of us parents.  The only thing I think that's good in the whole situation is that hopefully it's an eye opener for us to work on some of our character flaws.  Yes, I have character flaws.  More than I'd like to admit.  It's really hard to find them sometimes when I'm trying to be the perfect parent and all.  Then I get smacked in the face and I realize, wow, am I blind.  

I just found out that my son wants to be a professional hockey player but hasn't grasped that we're not born that way and that you have to put in a lot of work to become a pro.  Huh, funny.  I am that same way.  Ideas don't make success.  I found that out the hard way over a very long period of time and I still struggle with it.  When you work in your head it is hard to put the ideas in action.  I see the whole project from planning to execution and it all works in my head but the problem is actually doing it in real time.  Being a dreamer is fabulous because there is a new idea every day that is filled with hope and promise but then reality kicks in and, boom, flatlined.  

Being a mother of three, soon to be four children makes it difficult for the simple fact that energy is an element that is often lacking.  That's my one excuse.  I could find many others but they don't really hold water.  This one has some validity.  Most mothers would agree with me.  Except those type A moms who just seem to have it all together.  Coffee isn't cutting it and I don't do drugs or energy pills so I'm at a loss.  Not a lot of time to exercise and I'm out of shape in the way that working out still feels like work.  I'll get to the gym again but not anytime soon.  

Having children is such an enlightening part of life.  Never did I believe I could I feel so much love and pain, success and failure, gain and loss all lumped together in one experience.  It's making me a better person every day.  Thank you God!  I've been given four little ones who constantly keep me in check and remind me that no, in fact, I am not perfect.  No, I do not know everything.  However, it is very beneficial to pretend now and then.  To stop improving and learning is to die.  These little people force me to live.